Move...

Sometimes we just have to move on from the life we know when there is nothing left. There are a lot of people out there that have no idea what I'm talking about. Things have fallen into place for them without much effort. It's nothing bad, just the way it is. You live a standard childhood, get out of school and maybe go to college. Life may have ups and downs but you manage to make it through and maybe even find someone special along the way. You don't have the experience of being down to your last and final resource. No matter how 'hard' things are, a lot of people have some sort of last resort within reach. I think of people who go to jail and always have someone to bail them out. If I went to jail, I honestly don't know who I would call to get me out. If anything I would feel like an imposition on just about everyone I know so I'd probably just call QVC and talk to an operator for a while.

I've become slightly comfortable scraping by in life. Money isn't the issue, it's my purpose. I've done so many different things in my life, but I feel like I've accomplished nothing. If I had a steady career, two story house, dog in the backyard and a picket fence would I feel more complete? Probably not. I think I'd still want to move on. A part of my life has been missing for so long and I'm really trying to get it back.

I'm tired of superficial friendships. I'm tired of feeling like I don't belong somewhere. I'm tired of being tired for no reason. I'm tired of finding myself always back in the same spot time and time again. My next big move will be unpublished in print and face to face with others. I've decided to do something a bit different and instead of saying I will and possibly not doing it, I'm going to do it and write about it later. Kinda like my decision to go to flight school...