Stupid business...
My general attitude seems like I'm trying to discount formal education. I'm not. Learning skills and abilities and how to apply them is extraordinarily important. Doing it for the wrong reasons is a waste of time. I have a motivation for leaving my current school beyond the fact that it's a joke of a school. Even if my degree meant something, I would graduate and possibly get a job with a title that makes me just enough money to live a slightly better life than I'm living now. I've been through enough to realize that when this happens, my very first day will be filled with thoughts of wanting to do something different. So why the hell am I giving my time (and earned benefits) to an institution that is giving me information I can get elsewhere and be just as effective in making me a more productive individual? It's not like I'm getting any special certification such as when I got my Commercial Pilot License.
When I built my restaurant for example, I had to learn the system of getting permits to actually build the place. Now, in business school you may have a little project where you talk about the process of getting permits, but when I walked into the Community Development department, they didn't care if I had some degree... They tried to care if I was a licensed contractor, but that was about it. I learned on the spot how to fill out the paperwork and submit the plans in order to expedite the process. Nothing a little interpersonal skills couldn't help with. That is how a lot of things went. Signing the lease, setting up payroll and tax accounts, working with vendors, marketing, blah blah blah... The only thing a degree may have helped with is convincing people to give me money. Even then, applying for a bank loan for something of this sort had little to do with learned knowledge, and more with the proof that you had the funds to back up your crazy and stupid idea. Sure, some may say that having a degree helps with the underwriting process, but really it's about the backing that you have. Banks aren't that stupid. Having a degree doesn't make you any less of a risk. If anything, it makes you more of a risk because over educated self inflating nimwits may actually think they know how to operate a business when all they know how to do is pass a class by googling information and reformatting it so it can't be tracked by plagiarism detecting software.
What I'm getting at is this... My dream will always be to have a successful business beyond a simple burger joint. Sure, I want to make a good income, but what I really want is to be able to change lives. I want to have a real impact on the world around me. I want to demonstrate that responsibility with leverage is paramount when making a mark on this world. From where I stand right now, it's quite a ways off. Mostly it's because I don't have the money to leverage myself into a position where I can grow in an area where I'm good. All I can do is wade in the kiddie pool of society and business while I watch people around me squander their lives away on greed, envy and conceit.
Even asking for money isn't good enough. Mostly because the guilt that comes with it is my kryptonite. I am completely confident in my abilities to work my ass off and make something work, but first and foremost I have to find the fire inside. It's brewing and has been flaring up a lot in the past many years. I can't quite focus it yet. In nasty adult terms, the life I want to live is an object of my affection. I have a motivation to grudge fuck it into submission right now. The reality is, I need to love it, nourish it and cherish it while it blossoms into something well beyond my wildest dreams. Just like I can't bring myself to waste away my life going to this half-ass 'university', I can't bring myself to become a mindless drone working some job that gets me in water just deep enough to be swimming with the status quo.